found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
