that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
