so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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