I wish you could order shots online.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize