She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This is classic penis vs brain.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize
