He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
