you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
