Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
