well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
