question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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