I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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