I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
