in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
