You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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