You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
