He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
