i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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