Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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