Non-Jews are for practice
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
