i permit you to call me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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