I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
