quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
