Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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