when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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