Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
