We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize