i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
