physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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