So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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