After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
