You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
