pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
