We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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