How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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