so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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