420 ftw
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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