she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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