i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
