she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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