And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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