if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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