OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is Oprah even human
If I die, sorry about rent.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
