Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
