Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize
