:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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