I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize