what day is it and did you see me today?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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