Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
