I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
