Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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