I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize