I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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