my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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