C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
