Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Buhtt sex?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
