I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
