You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
