Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
