1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
