It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize