I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
