sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
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