I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Swine flu. Run for my life!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize