I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize