The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize