CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm always down for nudity.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
