butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
