All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
