Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
