just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
