dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
fuck your aforementioned shoe
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
