Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
