okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
