also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Randomize
