Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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