loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
