oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
